The greatest meditation...

...is a mind that let's go. That's the sticker I have on my computer...

I need to follow this. I think I had a pity-party of a weekend. And, I'm questioning my blogging, my life, etc. Maybe I should just go eat ice cream and sulk because I'm not getting anything anyways.

But, I think back to all the books, all the positive self-talk and I need to keep kicking... I'm letting others get me down, instead of relying on myself to be myself, like myself, for who-ever myself is... And, if you add it all up, I'm a pretty hot-ticket. I just keep forgetting it.

It's the whole excitement, slowing down, feeling. As soon as I slow down, I sink. Quickly. Like quick sand... maybe I should have called this blog "run as fast as you can, even if it's my slow 10 minute mile, otherwise you'll get sucked down into quicksand", "my life running from my brains quicksand". I like the analogy...

Anyways - it's February 1st now, thank goodness. I'm hoping it's a kick start to healthier attitude and feeding freezy. Mind over matter right?

Welcome

I've been thinking about starting my anonymous blog... my random thinkings about my life... Although I wonder if I should have rules since this is completely open to anyone. IE, no comments about my spelling or grammar as this blog is for myself only to randomly share to the world my thoughts and happenings... If you don't like it, don't read it. Although getting help or suggestions or comments are super.

This being my first post and all, I wonder how much background I should include... I think the header says it all. I plan to share dating stories, thoughts and random ideas on single-life hood, the pattern of myself and what I'm trying to learn through life, etc. 

I don't have a first story really... besides that I watched a movie this afternoon where a woman walked out on a date who was being very self-absorbed and lecturing. It was the woman from Sex-in-the-City (sorry, don't have the movie/actress/actor/name gene...) - but the courage that she had, to just walk out was so wonderful. Ballsy... It was actually a pretty good movie and had me think afterwards... First about walking out on really bad dates, and telling it like it is even though it's not polite, or nice... It's the whole direct honest thing... 

The second part of the movie that made me think was the positive role model. My mother has been a wonderful role model when it comes to professional developments and strength in myself professionally and career, but not such a great role model when it comes to self-esteem and self-worth. As is the above scenario of walking out on a bad date... never in a million years she would think about that, and most likely - there would be an excuse for the man... 

It's that whole side of the family... strong, strong women - but when it comes to men - it's "shh.... don't wake the man... oh, I'd better wait for the man to make a decision... oh, the man came home, go sleep on the couch" (that last one was a story of my grandmother actually, referring to my 18 year old male cousin who came home and I was kicked out of the bedroom at 3am...)

Very interesting thoughts.... More later, but lately I've been reading "mastery of love" by  Ruiz. I highly recommend it. But the whole book led me thinking about many things about love, etc., which I'd like to keep track of.